Who Is Really Watching?

 

 

I’m never quite sure how people see me or view me. Referencing back to yesterday and my lack of vulnerability at times, I don’t put myself out there too often. Maybe I do, but it is usually with safe topics. In the midst of a hard conversation last weekend, I felt like I needed to preface it with, “I’m not sure how well you know me or my character, but”. And I got one of the most amazing responses AND a reminder that it is the tiny, small things we do that show who we really are.

Two years ago my football team and her football team played each other. For fun we each agreed that the loser would have to wear the winning teams sweatshirt for a day. The interesting part of that last sentence is that neither one of us really sees football as fun. We kind of, sort of take it REALLY serious. So when my team won and her team lost, I picked my brightest and most obnoxious sweatshirt and took it with me to a softball game for our daughters…only I couldn’t go through with it. I knew how pissed I would be and how utterly livid it would make me to then have to parade around with a garment of shame. So I took the sweatshirt out, showed it to her, set it next to her and told her she didn’t have to wear it because I knew how painful it would have been for me to wear her sweatshirt.

When I talked with her last weekend, she said that she knew exactly who I was when I didn't make her wear my sweatshirt. Who knew?!

Fast forward to today. I lost a bet. For the next 24 hours I need to suffer through something shameful. In the grand scale of life, it is far from the true definition of shameful, but it still hurts. Losing a bet just stings. Some may say don’t bet, but there is also something to be said for loving and believing in something so much that you are willing to risk something. It is a form of vulnerability in a much safer realm…although when the risk doesn’t pay off it doesn’t feel so safe. BUT…I followed through on the bet even though it hurts. And I could cheat and not follow through, but it reminds me that what I do in the very small moments are the things that matter most. What I do when no one is watching or just one person is watching can have a longer lasting impact and can speak a far louder message than if I were standing in front of a hundred people. So how will you choose to live in the moments when no one is watching?