Clarification

Just in case there is any gray area to my previous post I just want to say for the record that I don't want any harm to come to my children. I can't begin to comprehend that. I just meant that I know God is in control of everything including the number of days we have here and our children have here. And as long as I am here, I want to continue to grow in my faith which means there are going to be times of pain. I pray that pain doesn't include burying a child, but if it does God is still God and I know He will be faithful.

Deep Thoughts

As I went to update my Facebook page today I noticed that many of my friends were praying for Steven Curtis Chapman, a popular Christian musician. When I went to check it out I discovered that his 5 year old daughter was run over in their driveway last night and died. In addition it happened to be one of their teenage sons who was driving the car. To say I am affected is such an understatement. Not only do I have an almost 5 year old of my own, but Steven just released a song not too long ago entitled Cinderella that he wrote for his daughter. I made Mike a photo montage of the girls and used that song as the backdrop. Today his little Cinderella is dancing in Heaven...and while it is exciting and wonderful to think of her dancing with Jesus...I can't imagine the pain...and not just for one child, but for two. Their son has to be going through incredible pain...and as a parent how do you reconcile that? How are you not angry at your child who needs your grace more than ever? The Chapmans have two teenage boys so it is unclear who was driving the car, but regardless he will never be completely the same. And while I know that God can use this for good and that this was not out of God's plan or control it still causes me a bit of anxiety...because our growth and our stretching in our faith comes during the valleys and the storms. And God doesn't promise to calm the storm, but rather promises to be with us in the storm. I guess it isn't our place to ask why this happened, but to ask God to be glorified because this happened.

I can't begin to imagine what it is like to lose a child and I ask God quite often to not let that be part of my story...and yet if that is what it would take for my faith to grow and for people to understand God's love then that is what I want. I know that sounds crazy to a bunch of people and that it sounds like I "drank the Kool-Aid", but it is what I really believe. God is bigger than we are and He is in control. Not as an evil dictator, but rather as a loving parent who knows that as difficult as it is to watch His children in pain sometimes there is a bigger picture and a purpose that makes the pain necessary for a season.