There is a 3 year old little guy that lives with me that is a picture of dichotomy. As soon as I found out that #3 was going to be a boy, I had to gear myself up for the sheer ENERGY of what was to come. I confess I had a ton of preconceived notions - he would walk when he was 9 months old (he was 15 months and I was starting to worry), he would climb out of his crib at 18 months (I'll get back to that) and that he would barely be potty trained by the time he started kindergarten (he was the easiest and the youngest of my 3 kids).
But back to the crib. He has made no attempt to get out. NONE. I have been in no rush to get him out because he is still an energetic guy and would cause havoc if he was given that kind of freedom. He is also potty trained so he is at our mercy to get him up to use the bathroom or he has to use his pull-up. After much debate, I took the side off of his crib on Tuesday and held my breath. I was prepared for 84 trips back and forth into his bed and to remind him that it was time to sleep. See where I'm going here?...Dude doesn't get out of his bed. He lays there and talks and sleeps and calls for me. There.is.nothing.holding.him.in
Is it Pavlovian? Learned behavior? He is a super smart kid so it is only a matter of time before he figures it out, but I'm not about to suggest anything. I did tell him that he could get up if needed to go to the bathroom in the morning, but he hasn't.
So the point...how many of us live life feeling like we can't get out of the bed when all the while there is nothing holding us in? It is one thing to choose to stay in our circumstances, but are we staying because we don't know we can move? I talk to so many people who feel like they don't have options. Maybe because I'm further back I have different perspective, but on the other hand, maybe I am too quick to look for the way out. I definitely take into account how my decisions will affect those around me and if it is a price they should have to pay, but I also know that I want to always know what my choices are. I don't want to look back in regret so I'm constantly surveying to make sure that I would still make the same choices today that I would have made yesterday. It hasn't always been like that, but since "growing up" a few years back...I want to make sure that I can live with my choices.
So the question is, are we really trapped or a we simply choosing the circumstances that we find ourselves in because we don't see any other option?
Footnote: I realized after the fact that this may come across differently than I intended. After more thought, I think it has more to do with feeling safe within our circumstances rather than trapped. Maybe we do see other options but we opt for the safe option. So which is better? To be safe and never take the risk of getting out of our comfort zone or to leave our comfort zone and subject ourselves to the gamut of emotions that come with exposure?
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