Desire

My book this year...yeah, I've needed to just keep going back to it again and again...has been about desire. Not in the sexy, romantic sense, but in the deep longings in life sense. How many times do we really reflect on what it means to desire? And when the desire is unfulfilled, the waiting and groaning and longing. Regardless of the desire, the process is the same. The reason I have needed to go back and read and reflect is because the desire is not going away. I am learning what it means to wait and groan....and surrender. Oh how I hate that word. The surrender has been the hardest part and yet the most freeing. I thought today I would share some of what I have learned.

Longing leads to fullness somewhere down the road. Meanwhile, being content is not the same as being full. Contentment is not freedom from desire, but freedom of desire. It is deciding that you no longer want to be ruled by your desires.

Pascal says we can be satisfied, but we can't be sated. A glass of wine vs. a bottle of wine. Our souls are always going to demand their fill here and now. We are not meant to be filled here and now.

I need to be undone. I want my desires to be at rest. I don't want to be ruled by them. But with the heartache comes unfilled desires. Looking back we can all agree there were many things we thought we wanted that we are grateful we did not get, but in the moment, we mourn the loss. We feel the pain. We know the ache. We must allow time for sorrow. We must not run from sorrow, but embrace it.