Looking Forward

Even though I will be leaving San Diego in less than 10 hours, I feel like I need to at least chronicle everything going through my head and heart at this time. I can pinpoint a handful of people that I will dearly miss, but for the most part I am excited and relieved that this chapter of life is coming to a close. I can't put my finger on it, but it was a hard few years. After opening up a bottle of wine and discussing with my other half, we rehashed what worked and what didn't about living in San Diego. It amuses me that as often as people comment on the inclement weather in Seattle, they comment on the "blissful" weather in San Diego. For the record...I am not a fan of San Diego weather. I am excited about seasons and green and weather. I promise to check in six months from now and let you know if my thoughts have changed, but I just feel like I have been looking forward to leaving for awhile now. Like I said, I am going to miss a few special girls. I feel like my time with them was short, but I also feel like they are life long friendships that will never fade.

So as I/we look forward to this next chapter, I don't want to lose sight of all that I have learned from being here...and I have learned a lot. In no way was coming here a mistake. Who I have become because of being in San Diego is...a different person than who I was before. It sounds so corny and yet, I have learned a lot of very hard lessons while here. God has pruned me, shaped me, pounded me from a lot of sides. I look back and smile knowing that even a year ago, I did not possess a fourth of the patience I have now...and I don't know how patient I am even now. But I do know that I have let go of a tremendous amount of control because I realized that I truly don't have any. And as crazy as it sounds, there is a tremendous amount of comfort in that. There is comfort also in knowing that we prayed long and hard and that at times we (I noticed that I went from I to we) doubted that we were even being heard. The uncertainty and angst of feeling out of place here became unbearable at times, but looking back (got to love hindsight) we now know that our prayers were heard. We are actually thanking God for the jobs that Mike did not get and overwhelmed by the job that he did get. We are amazed at the people who have come into our lives over the past month and can see clearly that He has placed every single one of them in our lives. Our faith was so small and His provision was so big. I am looking forward to where we are going, but I promise to never forget where we have come from. I am different. My husband is different. Our faith is different. Our perspectives are different. And I am looking forward to what Seattle/Bellevue has to teach me.